How to overcome family disagreements when choosing a course

As your parents become more involved in your education, it’s likely that you will have some disagreements and sometimes make compromises with them about college. Your aptitude, your time, your parents' money and the opportunities that await you upon graduation are the most common issues you and your parents will factor in.

While you don’t want to disappoint your parents, you have to find a way to find a college and course that best fits you.

According to a sample survey, conducted by Afterschool.my, majority of respondents (71%) had the upper hand in choosing their course while 24% said their parents made the decision for them. The remaining was influenced by their friends or relatives.

Here are some tips by students for students who want to reduce conflicts when talking about college with their parents.

Respect your Parents' Stake

Not everyone gets to choose the course they want. If your parents are paying for your college expenses, they deserve to have a say in your decision-making process.

Stan Lee, a fresh law graduate says it was his parents’ recommendation that he take up law. “I wanted to do a degree in computer science because I am naturally talented in computing but my parents think it’s not a professional degree and that I should stick to the safe path. They said that after I finished my professional degree, I can do whatever I like.”

After law, Stan took up some apprenticeship courses and is now working for a leading programming company.

“In hindsight, I should’ve insisted on programming course, my parents seem to have changed their viewpoint over the years as well…seeing me struggling to chase my dreams in IT despite having a law degree,” Stan explained.

Start Communicating Early

“It was natural for me to take up Biology,” said Azalia Zaidi. Both parents of this junior college student are Science graduates. Her mother is a Biology teacher while her father is a Biochemist for a multinational firm.

According to Azalia, her parents started expressing their thoughts and opinions about college choices since she entered secondary school.

“It helps to know your parents’ expectations at an early age than hearing all these when college applications are due,” she explained.

“After seeing how stable they are in their respective jobs, I could see myself taking the same career path.”

Making Compromises

To avoid conflict, sometimes you will need to find a diplomatic solution to it. “My parents decided for me to enter public university as I’ve met the requirements,” he said.

Luckily, after Stephen got his acceptance letter to study in Universiti Malaya, his parents allowed him to take up English Literature, the course he always wanted to pursue.

“I choose the course, so there were no disagreements,” he said smilingly.

Research and make a good Proposal: “I think whenever a parent has a disagreement with the course choice, it’s usually because they are concerned about your financial stability and career prospects,” explained Eunice Teng.

“I was brought up to be an independent decision maker so they didn’t really care what I studied, as long as I stayed in school to complete my first degree,”

According to Eunice, it is important to understand the course you want to take. “Research about the course prospects and have an effective answer for this with something like a 5-year career plan.”